Around The World (2nd July 2013)

DIY writers review songs currently topping the charts worldwide.

Rejoicing in the tastes of another country’s masses shouldn’t be saved for one-off occasions like Eurovision or mammoth viral hits. There’s more to K-Pop than ‘Gangnam…’ and plenty of stars who barely any UK-based folk have heard of are millionaires, giants in their own country. Read the June edition here.

In Around The World DIY writers take a closer look at the songs currently topping charts in select nations. This month’s edition incorporates LMFAO copycats and the lesser-known fact that in Finland, every single year, the music industry unites to write a song promoting contraception. It’s true. This feature roots for the chart-toppers who are still making many a dollar, euro, or yen. (Chart placings as of week beginning June 24th)

NORWAY: DJ Broiler - Vannski

Norway’s DJ Broiler have obviously settled the country’s ‘summer track’ predicament with their tune ‘Vannski’. Google Translating as ‘Waterskiing’, it has all the correct hedonistic summer elements to make it the track to be cranking up to 142 on the stereo. It’s sung in Norwegian – the opening line supposedly translates to “The sun’s rays reflect through blue waves” – and without translating you’d have no idea what vocalist Fredrik Auke is banging on about over the production duo’s beaming electro party. I’ve got no hope, literally the only thing I can sing in Norwegian is ‘Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes’ - don’t ask. Its raucous tempo and laser patterns give it everything a club track needs and make DJ Broiler come across as a comic Knife Party crossed with LMFAO. [Hayley Fox]

NETHERLANDS: Gerard Joling & Jandino - Mijn Liefde

The world is a confusing place. How does gravity actually work? Can you actually explain why two magnets attract and repel each other? And who on Earth in the Netherlands has consciously and actively chosen to spend money on ‘Mijn Liefde’ by Gerard Joling (a white-toothed, orange-skinned 51-year-old singer and television presenter) & Jandino (a stand-up comic and television presenter with 73,386 twitter followers). The song is taken from Joling’s 18th album ‘Ik Ook Van Jo’ (‘I Love You Too’). Without meaning to offend the artists involved and the thousands of Dutch folk who have bought it, it’s a truly awful song. Slightly reggae-influenced, summery, jaunty, and cheesy as hell. And the video only adds to its unpleasantness. [Jake May]

FINLAND: Cheek ft. Jokku Poika - Jossu

When you first listen to ‘Jossu’, Finland’s current number one single by Cheek featuring Jokku Poika, you’d be forgiven for being drawn in by its immediate charm. Glistening with a bouncy, radio friendly 90s pop sound, the track bounces along incredibly innocently, overlaid with extremely average rapping on behalf of Cheek himself. However, there’s also a different kind of cheeky thrown into the mix here. This is Finland’s “official summer song”, a tradition of sorts that has been predominant in the country since 1998. Why’d they pick this one you ask? Well, each year Finland wants to make all its teens aware that they should be using condoms when the summer fun gets taken inside. This year, the song tells the story of the titular character Jossu - a girl who’s a bit on the wild side and has been getting promiscuous with a few too many dudes. This. Happens. Every. Year. On the plus side though, it’s one of the first to come from an indie label, so well done guys. Wear a rubber yeah? [Tom Walters]