Have You Heard? with Nish Kumar

You know what? I’m genuinely thrilled she’s finally getting some air time. She’s been bubbling under the surface for a long time, and I think this could be her year. [‘Easy On Me’] sort of is Adele-by-numbers, but if your numbers are as good as Adele’s why would you do anything different?

Verdict: 3 crying ladies at 11pm out of 5.

She’s the best, I’m a huge, huge fan. I thought ‘GREY Area’ was phenomenal and everything she does pushes her sound forward in really interesting ways. ‘Woman’ is one of the more lowkey efforts [on the album] in terms of the sound of it, but her flow is insane; she’s such a brilliant rapper, and so lyrically dextrous and musically ambitious. I don’t think there’s anyone in music that we should be more excited about than Little Simz.

Verdict: The aesthetic on the last tour was all white uniforms, so it’s 5 all white uniforms out of 5.

There’s something very clever and very arch about this album, and there’s a nice bit of light and shade to this track. Someone really discovering that they love themselves is a nice thing to hear! I relate to earnestness - in spite of the fact I’m a comedian, at my core I’m quite an earnest man - so it made me feel good and positive.

Verdict: 4 ladies complimenting each other in a nightclub toilet out of 5.

I think they were recommended by Iggy Pop on his 6Music show and anything that’s good enough for Iggy is good enough for me - musically I mean, other stuff in the past that was good enough for Iggy, I don’t think would be good for me at all. I like this track a lot; there’s something very charming and witty about it and I’m excited to see what they do next. It feels like a really interesting calling card for a new type of funny, smart indie rock - and definitely there’s a huge gap to be filled there.

Verdict: 4 long French chairs out of 5.

There’s something of The Darkness about it - not the metaphysical concept, the band - and it’s not the most original sound in the world, but when it’s done this well, does it really matter? I kind of want to have sex with all of them. And I think its tongue is firmly in its cheek - or their tongues are firmly in each others’ cheeks. It’s some people having some very self-aware group sex, is the best way I can put [this song].

Verdict: 3 entirely unused condom wrappers out of 5.

People over 30 should legally not be able to give their opinions on Olivia Rodrigo. I think my generation is starting to age out of relevance and we are not doing it in a dignified way. I truly believe if you can clearly remember September 11th, no one cares about your opinion on Olivia Rodrigo.

Verdict: N/A.

Lil Nas X is everything that a pop star should be. He’s funny, subversive, playful, sexy - he’s a perfect pop star. This is what pop music exists for and it’s what it should be delivering. It’s provocative at a time when that word is largely used to mean a white man being transphobic on Question Time; I’m very happy that a generation of young people are being exposed to a pop star as smart and talented as Lil Nas X. We’re all very lucky to live in his world.

Verdict: 5 devil dicks out of 5.

Nish Kumar is touring the UK and Ireland with his Your Power, Your Control tour in 2022.