News The Beautiful Game: Will Grant, Two Tap Digital - Nottingham Forest

If you’re anything like DIY, you’ll have spent last week finely tuning your Fantasy Football team ready for the new season. Now, with all the major English and Scottish leagues underway, it’s time to take a balanced look at just what’s in store. We’ve asked a bunch of bands, artists and music industry types to let us know exactly what they expect from their team in 2011/2012. Anyone for a Bovril?

While we’re sure we could find a band to wax lyrical about clogs, windmills and Schteve McClaren, we’re far too worried about poor old Two Tap Digital PR and writer Will Grant’s state of mind after everyone’s favourite purveyor of the ‘hair island’ rocked up to the City Ground. Here’s his take on Nottingham Forest’s 2011/2012 prospects.

Another season, another dogfight. Pierre van Hooijdonk - I still blame all of this on you. I mean, it’s not like we’ve never had a positive Dutch connection before - Bryan Roy was The Man when I grew up with Forest. He was part of a team that got us to third in the Premier League and facing Bayern Munich in the UEFA Cup. Sure, we got properly trounced, but that’s the closest we’ve come to living up to our near unmatched pedigree in England.

Now, don’t take me for disconsolate. Some horrible seasons floating in League One could so easily have killed us off. But Calderwood did his job, and did it well, before Billy Davies came in and decided he needed nine strikers to get us anywhere. NINE. It was all a bit silly - close to being right, but pretty ridiculous. God damn this Unforgiving Dog Fight of The Championship.

But now The Dutch Connection is BACK - albeit, not really. You see, ‘Schteeve’ McClaren has taken the helm. Yes, him. ‘The Wally With The Brolly’. And he’s brought Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink in as a coach too - presumably to make his own Dutch accent seem more palatable. But, let’s not forget his pedigree - assistant to Fergie in winning the ‘99 European Cup, manager of a Carling Cup winning Middlesbrough and (yep, you guessed it) Dutch League winner with FC Twente. His signings - well, we’ll have to give them time. Jonathan Greening may prove to be a shrewd inclusion, but Andy Reid is way past his best and Ishmael Miller is likely to languish on the bench as we deal with a more saturated midfield than King Kenny’s Liverpool. Let’s just hope Lewis McGugan’s shooting boots are on all season, that Chris Cohen and Paul Anderson can run everyone ragged without breaking anything and that Lee Camp staying can be the point of solidity we need. God knows we need to talk about some success again…

Tags: Features

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