Back Page For One Night Only!: East 17’s Tony Mortimer curates his dream gig

He’s just such a legend. We [East 17] had a moment in a decade, but imagine being an artist where you had decades: he’s gone through the swinging ‘60s with The Beatles and Beatlemania, then the ‘70s with Wings, then you’ve got the ‘80s, when he was doing duets with Michael Jackson and stuff, then the ‘90s! You know how the Queen was like everyone’s nan? Paul McCartney’s just always been there. I know he’s getting on a bit now, but I’ve never seen him and he’s wonderfully talented. It’s almost as if he could do it for a living.

I went proper, original Britpop: The Who would be the openers, and then – well, they wouldn’t like it – but the mighty Rolling Stones. They’re absolute headliners in their own right, but this is my fantasy dream gig, and they are where I put them. Could you imagine the dressing room conversations! That’d be awesome.

I’ve seen people in stadiums, and the sound quality has never been that great. When we played arenas a lot, it was a bit like a giant barn – good, but very big. So I’ve gone for Shepherd’s Bush Empire – we played there years ago and it was heaving, and the energy inside was amazing. So it’d be quite a smallish venue really – a slight underplay for this lot!

If not my missus, who’d be able to get me on the right tube without getting lost, I’d probably go on my own. Because I’d want to write down what they’re doing, the gimmicks they’re using, how many costume changes they’re doing – all this technical stuff. I used to go clubbing and that on my own and I enjoyed it; I didn’t want to press what I wanted to do and all that on other people. No matter who you’re with, you’re looking at the stage anyway! It’s like going to the cinema on your own; it’s just me and the hotdog. That’s all it’s ever been.

I stopped drinking many years ago – I’m over 50, so I’d have to be careful, otherwise I’ll be right in the middle and then need the loo. So I’d bring a bottle or two of water in with me, ‘cos it gets hot and sweaty real quick. I wouldn’t be leaving to go to the bar – god, think of the songs he’d be playing!

I’d be at home, putting some music on, starting to get into the feeling of it. Choosing what clothes to wear and making sure they’re comfortable, ‘cos I’m built for comfort now. Probably popping backstage before they come on, just to have a chat, as you do.

If I’m totally honest with you, afterwards would have to be straight to KFC or a kebab shop. Because I think it’s going to get pretty sweaty, so then I need some fuel for the tube journey home, that’s a must. Unless, of course, one of the band wanted to drop me off in a helicopter, they could do that – not a problem.

I’d probably go with the helicopter home, depending on how sore my feet were. Obviously, Macca would have paid for it, which is nice of him. We’d be continuing the party on the way home with a ‘60s night playlist – and the KFC bucket, of course.

To mark the 30th anniversary of ‘Stay Another Day’ reaching Christmas number one, Tony has partnered with Nordoff and Robbins to raise awareness of how music therapy can benefit young people living with mental health challenges. Find out more at nordoff-robbins.org.uk.

Tags: Features, December 2024 / January 2025, East 17, From The Magazine