Heidi Curtis talks grief, growth, and debut EP 'Hollow Heart' • Neu • DIY Magazine

Some people are destined to be musicians. Heidi Curtis is one of them. “I was always really enchanted by music,” she recalls, “it’s always been something that’s been a part of me. My cousin had a piano in his house and when I was two or three, I would just go to this, like, magical notes machine and try to play songs that were on the radio.

“When we moved over to North Shields,” she continues, “I was about six - my Nana’s friend was doing a house clearance and she came in like, ‘I’ve got the bairn a piano’, so I sat there every single day on this old, out of tune, beautiful little cheap thing and just learned to love it.”

This loving but seemingly small gesture would lay the groundwork for the woman that Heidi would become; one who taught herself guitar and started to write songs in her bedroom from the age of 12 to cope with all the uncertainty and social resistance that those early teen years can bring.

Slowly, Heidi inched out of her bedroom and into venues across Newcastle, performing at local favourites like Lola Jeans. Ironically, it was there that she realised the stage was actually where she felt most at home.

“It just became this obsessive need to get better and better and understand my mind,” she reflects, “then as I got older, and now especially, it’s become a way of processing some really heavy emotions that I never felt when I was a kid.”

“I always thought I was this free spirit — which I am — but I also really struggle with the idea that this perfect reality I’ve created is going to change.”

Those heavy emotions manifested in something of a tragic full-circle moment, with the foundations of this debut EP coming from the passing of Heidi’s grandmother, the very woman who gifted her that ever-so formative piano all those years ago. Alongside the intense grief this brought, it also fuelled an anger, a frustration, that shows itself in Heidi’s soaring vocal and the driving rhythms that transform tracks like ‘Siren’ from a brooding folk-rock track into a mosh-inspiring exorcism of past pain. Equally, ‘Lost and Found’ sits comfortably in the quieter, darker corners of a body unmoored and a mind all at sea.

“I wrote [the song] ‘Hollow Heart’ just after my Nana passed away,” Heidi explains. “It was the first time I’d ever experienced real loss. When she passed away, everything changed: the roles switched within a minute. I always thought I was this free spirit - which I am - but I also really struggle with the idea that this perfect reality I’ve created is going to change. So, ‘Hollow Heart’ came from that place of understanding and navigating this endless labyrinth of grief.”

The maze-like path through the swirling imbalance of losing a central pillar in one’s life began to spill into Heidi’s sub-conscious, infiltrating her dreams and never giving her pause. In many ways, though, it was this spiritual connection to her grandmother and her wider surroundings that allowed her to create an EP brimming with soul-stirring, heartstring-tugging sentiment. “I started getting the idea that I could communicate or see my Nana in my dreams, and that became a bit of a weird time,” she says candidly, “but it was around then that most of the songs came together.”

“‘Siren’ was about giving into the temptation and numbing grief through our vices and natural responses to pain,” she goes further. “‘What Am I Missing?’ was all about rage, then ‘Undone’ was the manifestation of who I wanted to be. I was so depressed and lost that I just wrote honestly about what I was feeling at that time, but it was like ‘Undone’ tapped me on the shoulder and said, ‘remember who you want to be’, so I kept chasing that feeling until now where all these ideas can flourish and blossom; it’s such a beautifully weird time.”

“There’s a beauty in being the underdog. The reason why [Tyneside] is such a thriving community is because it’s this hidden bolt of lightning in a bottle.”

Her sound is equally evocative. It’s arguably one that could only be forged on the jagged, windswept North Tyneside coastline, harnessing the power of the waves and the fierce connection of a community neglected to unify into a cathartic, blood-rushing ode to all the things that make her ‘Hollow Heart’ ever-so-slightly more full. “If I can maintain a windswept, untethered, standing-outside-getting-battered-by-the-storm feeling, that’s when I know I’m on to something, that’s when I feel alive and rooted.”

She goes on: “I’ve always had this affinity with water and the coast; I’m so entranced by that side of the world, of just the way the weather moves and all the different symbols and signs that fall into folklore and symbolism and spirituality. That really inspires my writing; it’s this idea that we’re all connected to something so much bigger that nobody could believe.”

Where the rural, untameable phenomenon of the North Sea filled Heidi with a similarly liberated outlook on music - also heavily inspired by Patti Smith and Stevie Nicks, who she describes as “prophets, poets, witches” - she is equally a product of her beloved Newcastle, a city which continues to quietly produce world-conquering talent. “It’s so overlooked!” Heidi exclaims.

“There’s such a rich history of music from Tyneside - Sting, Mark Knopfler, Jade Thirlwall, L Devine - but I think there’s a beauty in being the underdog. I think the reason why it’s such a thriving community is because it’s this hidden bolt of lightning in a bottle. It’s why Geordies are so proud of the city; they’re proud of being a part of something that is so overlooked.”

Bringing together all these strands creates a songwriter as yet unaware of the reach of her abilities, a bank of storm clouds slowly rumbling towards a crescendo that has the potential to reverberate around arenas. For now, though, she’s comfortable organically carving out a niche. “I want the EP to find its audience; people that love live music and feel connected to something deeper, that we’re all part of something a lot bigger than us. My general hopes and dreams, though, are to play Red Rocks Amphitheatre in America. I think that’s the day that this little hollow heart will finally feel somewhat full.”

‘Hollow Heart’ is out now via AWAL.

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