Interview Theoretical Girl

So just who is Theoretical Girl? Does anyone know? Does Theoretical Girl even know who Theoretical Girl is? She answers some questions for us.

You might have seen Theoretical Girl. Perhaps you may even have heard some of her music. She was the girl with the Louise Brooks bob pictured in NME surrounded by some of the coolest new faces in music, and has also been given the stamp of approval with her inclusion in the ‘nu-rave’ compilation Digital Penetration. DIY decided to get to know her a bit better. So just who is Theoretical Girl? Does anyone know? Does Theoretical Girl even know who Theoretical Girl is? Theoretical Girl answers some probing and downright barmy questions for us.

Hello Theoretical Girl. How does it feel to be ‘tipped’ for big things?
Well, this is news to me! I didn’t realise I was tipped for anything! I do hope that I don’t disappoint anyone!

Never. We love your music and your hair. How did you get involved in music?
My Mum had a great vinyl collection which was passed on to me when I was a wee thing. It was full of Motown and soul. I decided I wanted to be Diana Ross or Tina Turner. Both of which were a little unrealistic for obvious reasons, so I had to make do with being Theoretical Girl instead.

What was the first song you wrote?
It was called ‘If It Weren’t For You’, and consisted of two chords and one line of lyrics repeated over and over, which got slightly more ‘heartfelt’, i.e. louder, each time. I’d like to think my songwriting has improved a little since then, but I probably shouldn’t get my hopes up!

For anyone who hasn’t heard your music, how would you describe your sound?
I have two sounds really. Dark and dancey with scratchy distorted guitar like ‘Red Mist’ and ‘The Hypocrite’, and a more gentle, melodic sound on songs like ‘Another Fight’ and ‘Never Good Enough’. All of my songs have things in common though, for example layers and layers of simple guitar lines - I don’t like chords you see - and soft vocals.

How did you react when you saw your picture in the NME when the Digital Penetration album was reviewed? Surely it must have been a bit surreal?
It made me chuckle as my picture was the biggest one, but they didn’t mention me! Bizarre!

We thought that was a bit strange too. Next question: Do you worry about being put in with a scene like ‘Nu-Rave’? How do you feel about that? Is it something you want for yourself?
I think it’s pretty obvious to anyone that my music is not ‘nu-rave’. I’ve recently been included on a compilation by Angular Records, who ‘invented art-rock’ apparently, and I don’t feel that my music can be classed as ‘art-rock’ either. Perhaps I’ll start a scene of my own someday and call it Essex-new-rave-art-rock-electro-punk-folk. Although it’s not that catchy, is it? That’s why I’m not a music journalist. Ultimately it can be quite damaging to be lumped in with a scene, as when the scene passes, as they always do, people dismiss you. I’d hate for that to happen to me!

The song that was featured on Digital Penetration, ‘It’s All Too Much’, you once said you didn’t like it. So what will you do with it? Will it be on your new album in its current form, or are you altering it?
I still hate it! It won’t be on my album, that’s for sure!

Why did you create the Theoretical Girl persona? What is the difference between Theoretical Girl and you as a person? Is there a difference?
We are one and the same.

A nutty guy in America raised thousands of dollars so he could date Lady Sovereign. How much would it take to buy Theoretical Girl for a date, and what would you do if the date was hell?
I’d like to reply with something that implies I’m classy and unobtainable, however, I’m so skint that I’d come pretty cheap! I’m also not very assertive, so if the date were hell, I’d probably just sit there smiling, with one eye on the clock! I am known for my patient nature!

Now to the important stuff. Are you going to adopt an African baby like Madonna?
Ha ha! I can’t even look after myself, let alone another human being! Poor Madonna. She tries to do something good, even though she probably did use her money and influence to bypass a few laws, and she gets caned.

The title of your new single is ‘Red Mist’. Do you ever want to kill people? When did you last see the ‘red mist’?
The good thing about writing songs is that you can write about things that you would never normally feel comfortable saying. It’s not about wanting to kill someone, but it is about feeling so much rage and anger that you are out of control, and it is about an incident that I wouldn’t want to talk about because I’m ever so slightly ashamed!

Tell us about your new album.
It’s a work in progress.

Last question. Who is doing it for you musically right now?
Twisted Charm and Ratatat mainly.

Theoretical Girl’s single ‘Red Mist’ is released on 13th November.

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