It’s a bit sweaty out, right? British summertime has finally arrived after months of waiting for it and, oh wait - yep, it’s awful. Everyone smells. All your mates are a dodgy, blinding shade of pink. Ice cream supplies are dwindling. Water’s boring, but you’ve gotta drink it. It’s a bloody nightmare.
Spare a thought for those poor, hard done by popstars though. In a world of ever-changing trends; a world where image is almost everything and remaining part of the zeitgeist is everything else, they’ve gotta endure this every time they step in front of a camera.
We’re talking, obviously, about deserts. They’re everywhere. It seems rarely a day goes by without some poor, unsuspecting, pale-as-a-teacup indie fella shipped off to the sand dunes with little more than a guitar and a vague sense of choreography.
Honestly, they’re unavoidable:
Rat Boy - Get Over It
Yes mate, we know your Lynx Africa isn’t the anti-perspirant version. Listen to your own advice and ‘get over it’, fella - this’ll look well trendy.
Glass Animals - Life Itself
Thought that jungle vibe of ‘ZABA’ was tropical enough? Just you wait ‘til you’re finding sand in the rolls of your jorts for the next fortnight, Dave. Looks cool though, right?
MØ - Final Song
Even being part of the most streamed song on Spotify literally ever doesn’t save you from destination dunes. Being a DIY cover star won’t help you either, pal. We hear factor 50’s two-for-one at Superdrug at the moment - off you trot.
Unknown Mortal Orchestra - First World Problem
Ain’t no #firstworldproblem like a farmer’s tan, eh Ruban? We see you’ve managed to avoid this one, though. Just sent a couple of oblivious, ballet dancing saps out instead. Sneaky, mate. Very sneaky.
Weaves - One More
To be fair, this lot look they’re having a blast. There’s literally nothing in the world that Weaves dislike, though. They’re having the best time, all the time. Weirdos.
MIA - Go Off
No wonder she keeps threatening to leak her album - MIA’s packed off to the desert every five minutes, it seems. Poor sod.
We’ve traced it right back, too, and can confirm that this was the turning point - the moment the hottest places on earth became the coolest places to be. Thank us later.