Features Brit Awards 2014: Finest Moments From Over The Years

It seems strange looking back on previous BRIT Awards ceremonies. These events were the exact opposite of polite. There was mooning, gesturing, more drugs references than an episode of The Wire. Things began to tone down a bit, eventually. Despite attempts to give the show a bit more bite - the ceremony’s always broadcast live; anything can happening etc. - you can’t exactly rely on Ben Howard to pull off a notorious, show-stealing stunt.
 

But there’s hope. This year’s nominees contains at least one band capable of turning up a drunken mess. Arctic Monkeys have already perfected the art, actually. Only last time, they turned up in tweed. Who knows. Maybe Bastille will try and balance one of the gongs on his head. Perhaps Rudimental will truly divulge in the ‘mental’ side to their name. Jarvis isn’t invited, but there must be someone in the O2 Arena with a loose enough pair of jeans to do something ridiculous. 
 

Looking back at the most infamous moments of previous years, we’ve picked out a 2014 nominee capable of replicating such scandal. 
 

Jacko vs Jarvis

Starting with the obvious, it’s clear nothing’s ever going to top Jarvis Cocker’s mooning gesture. Less “what about us”, more “what about arse”, he gave ‘The Earth Song’ an altogether more alternative meaning. 18 years on and it’s not close to being forgotten. 

Chances of it happening again: Zero. Unless the Disclosure boys decide to disclose absolutely everything.
 

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One For The Road, And A Few More

Arctic Monkeys turned up in 2008 up to their necks in tweed, so dosed up on booze and self-satisfaction they made a mockery of the whole event. “We remember our days in Brit School,” slurred Alex Turner, pumped up on sarcasm. “There’s Kenzie! Do you remember Kenzie? See you at the crossroads,” he said, signing off on a Blazin’ Squad reference. Speeches like this’ll be tough to top. 

Chances of it happening again: They might perform an exact replica of 2008 but given Arctic Monkeys’ slick appearances these days, there are more chances of Jake Bugg mustering a smile than any of this repeating itself. 
 

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Joss Goes Stateside

Nothing - not even a Shteeve McLaren “underdohhg” accent - quite tops Joss Stone’s miraculous transformation into a US citizen. For the BRIT AWARDS, of all things. “Haay - haaw’s it gooayn?” is the finest attempt at messing up the simplest opening statement in all our time. She made a really bad joke about Robbie Williams in rehab and it sort of ruined everything, but for those precious 15 seconds after taking the mic, Joss could have been anybody. 

Chances of it happening again: Alex Turner’s already flirted with an Elvis-style accent, so you never know. This duty would better fall to someone like John Newman though. John Newman adopting a Scottish twang. Yes, that would be interesting.