On the telly: Down with the kids: When a band goes on children’s TV

When it comes to interviewers, there are few tougher prospects in the game than ten year old music fan Piper. From Chvrches to Bully, loads of DIY faves have put themselves forward for questioning in the past, with spectacular results. Yannis laid bare the tragic tale of how he lost his childhood hamster during Foals’ turn on the series. Kurt Vile, meanwhile, decided to give Piper a rundown of his inner consciousness. “I was still awake, but I was waiting for my mom to come and tuck me in.. ” he tells her, “but I fell asleep. In my dream I heard her coming but then I realised it was a werewolf walking around my bed with a shower cap on.” Right then, Kurt.

Not ones to shy away from a challenge, Wolf Alice also took part in the series while they were on tour in the US, and their grilling doesn’t disappoint. If you’ve often wondered whether the band’s sneezes sound more like rhinos or mice, here is the answer you truly deserve. Always wanted to hear Joff say “mustard” in a crappy Scottish accent? Look no further than the genius interview below.

Think about it for one second, and it all makes sense - ‘1, 2, 3, 4’ is the perfect candidate for kids telly. It’s quite literally very educational as a song.

Accompanied by four puppet penguins, several plastic numbers, and the iconic surroundings of Sesame Street, Feist re-writes the entire ‘The Reminder’ track so that it’s themed around her favourite number instead. She even does a dance routine with some head-banging chickens along the way. Fun fact - the same episode also features Oscar (as in the green bloke in the dustbin, rather than the Mickey Mouse-clad musician we bang on about quite a lot).

The Killers - particularly Brandon Flowers - love an extravagant costume and a bit of glam rock at the best of times, During their turn on U.S. children’s show Yo Gabba Gabba!, their wildest space-dust flecked dreams came true. Decked out in astronaut gear, and golden suits with very generous shoulder-pads, The Killers performed a brand new song entitled ‘Spaceship Adventures,’ while zooming around a computerised galaxy. Behind the kit in vaguely vampish cloak, Ronnie Vannucci Jr. has never seemed more contented, while Brandon Flowers looks like he was born to pilot space shuttles.

Yo Gabba Gabba! really is the show that keeps on giving. Also worthy of close attention: Of Montreal’s snacking ode ‘Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast’ and Weezer’s magnificent composition ‘All My Friends Are Insects’.

Ok, so. The Mighty Boosh isn’t technically a children’s TV show. With energy levels comparable to Neil from Art Attack trying to do glitter paintings after a tab of acid and four huffs of the nearby PVA pot, the joint presence of Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding in their sparkly feather boas and strange velvet suits is a mystifying conundrum at the best of times. It would probably be too overwhelming for any child. It’s the sort of children’s show you can easily imagine being banned by the up-in-arms parents committee at Tiddlywink village school, and making national headlines as a result.

When The Horrors appeared on the show as a parody of themselves - The Black Tubes - it reached the same level of casually bonkers, vaguely psychedelic mayhem that kid’s broadcasting achieves on a daily basis. There’s a singing crab, for crying out loud.

Besides proving ripe foundations for some of the most insane art concepts out there with their TV shows, children can also be incredibly harsh critics. Brutally honest, and perceptive to the most bizarrely specific details, a kid armed with a song to review and a notebook has the power to make Jay Rayner look like the nicest writer in the world.

It’s no sweeping statement to say that Radiohead are (more or less) universally recognised for being good. Most adults have decided that, on the whole, they’re a pretty decent band - critically acclaimed, even. Kids don’t give a shit about critical acclaim.

Ripping the heart out of Radiohead’s ‘Paranoid Android’ in Noisey’s You Review series, the cutting critiques just don’t stop. “I think N-Dubz are better than Radiohead,” shrugs one child, “N-Dubz have got more songs”. Another really sinks the knife in with a fairly hurtful impression of Thom Yorke’s falsetto vocal. “I think people just pretend to like it to make them cool,” is the conclusion. Ouch.

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