The Strokes’ producer Gordon Raphael reviews the band’s Hyde Park support acts

Producer Gordon Raphael - who worked on The Strokes’ debut EP, as well as their first two records - has penned an incredibly disgruntled, and fairly entertaining review of his experience at the band’s British Summer Time gig in Hyde Park last month.

Writing for The Zine, Gordon Raphael took issue with everything from “prancing,” to the support acts, to “artery-clogging deceased cow-burgers” - as opposed to alive cow burgers, perhaps? The only things staunchly organic vegan Gordon seemed to enjoy, actually, were The Strokes’ songs that he personally produced, and oreo cookies. Despite the fact that oreos are not vegan.

“It’s not that modern music is particularly bad or anything. I have just felt that I do not share the same values for music that the majority of people worship with a wow, or give their attention to,” wrote Gordon, speaking about an unspecified support act. “The easiest thing I can liken it to is McDonald’s; yes they are huge, ka-billions served! But is it really food? Is it life-sustaining?”

Later, Gordon flees in disgust to see another support band - again, unnamed. “The prancers came out, and the Midi music, and “corporate secretarial” vocal stylings ensued, and the familiar sickly feeling of “bad bad music” washed over my brain like some carbon monoxide smoke, signalling imminent demise”

Read the rest of Gordon Raphael’s lengthy and incredibly dramatic review on The Zine.