King Of Spain - thirtydegreeshandsonhipsleanforwardsmile

Like its cumbersome title, this South London five-piece’s second LP is quite a chore to get through. What little appeal King Of Spain’s debut ‘Battleships & Aeroplanes’ had (it did the rounds on Tom Robinson’s BBC6 radio show) has now been replaced by sub-standard song writing.

Songs like ‘Fighting Bears’ (opens with the most obnoxious alarm) and ‘Par Lammers’ attempt to raise the corpse of average guitar-pop bands like Little Man Tate and the Courteeners from the grave whilst ‘Battleships & Aeroplanes’ and ‘Laura’ are drowsy bores of slow balladeering. It all feels like the clammy hangover of indie’s yesteryear circa 2007/8.

Then there are the moments which are nothing short of gimmicky. ‘Luffing’ is the strongest example. Here they attempt an epic sea shanty where vocalist Bayly Pike, with the most terrible pirate accent, spits out metaphorical dross such as: “Your ripe hair is a sun beam attacking my heart.”

That’s not as bad as when he attempts to sing properly though. Pike’s voice is a cross between Liam Fray and Jon Windle’s flat and atonal vocals and it really is excruciating to her him try his best at singing long held, high notes. By the time ‘Oh Brother! Break Out The Beats’ rears its head, he sounds like he’s finally realised how terrible he (and this album) are before going on one big, alcoholic bender where he self-pityingly cries “wOaH, wOaH, wOaH” in the street.

The album finishes on ‘Keep Moving On’ and never has a closing track been more welcome. Pyke continually screams the track’s title at the end in a banal attempt at producing an anthem. In a record which trudges along in the opposite direction, the best advice is to indeed move on when confronted with this terrible LP.