The Alps - Something I Might Regret

The Alps sit between Hard-Fi and The Ordinary Boys like the middle layer of corrugated cardboard: sitting there, serving a purpose, but ultimately impossible to get excited about. Much like the lettuce in a BLT, it would be simply pointless endeavour to remove the filling from your sandwich (or change stations were they on the radio, to give this extended metaphor some vague musical relevance). Belgium to the United States; a mouse to a giraffe; simply, The Alps are an utterly inconsequential band.

Mind you, at least they have a relevant name - it’s all downhill from the breezy opening of the title track. Mawkish ballad ‘Obstacle Race’ starts their curious obsession with the British weather that rears its overcast head elsewhere in this album. ‘Looks like it’s raining again, well curse the weather/Always there’s room enough for two under this umbrella’ sings Daniel Heptinstall, attempting to ape Paul Weller, but ending up like Tom Clarke covering Rihanna at karaoke.

Not that there aren’t passable moments here: tracks such as ‘Goodnight Vienna’ and ‘Without Warning’ are certainly no worse than the vast majority of radio fodder. But then, that is the problem inherent in ‘Something I Might Regret’ - there is simply nothing to make it stand out from the vast majority of other bands falling under the all encompassing banner of ‘indie’, whatever that term has come to mean. All this album manages to promote is utter indifference: ironic, then, that they rail against dour middle-management jobs on ‘Curriculum Vitae’. In album closer ‘Eleventh Hour’, The Alps claim that ‘this time, it could be my time’: unfortunately, this has been done before and better, too.