St Vincent disrespects the burrito-loving community, subsequently apologises

Once in a while, a drama speedily unfolds with the power to grip the world. Not even Shakespeare himself could have written a saga quite as riveting as the scandal surrounding St Vincent and her opinions on the popular Mexican food, the humble burrito.

It all started out innocently, when Annie Clark spontaneously leapt up from her dining table, and stepped in as a waitress at her sister’s new Mexican restaurant in Dallas over the weekend. Naturally, food site Bon Appetit interviewed St Vinny about her experience working at Resident Taqueria’s opening night. Their questions were innocuous enough at first.

“I dislike disorder; it would’ve been egregious to just sit there when it was so busy,” Annie Clark said, explaining her motivations for abandoning a hot plate of Mexican cuisine in order to waitress instead. She also gave away her top survival tip for service workers everywhere; “turns out that if you hide a margarita in the back while bussing tables and bringing out tacos, you can sneak a sip here and there.”

Then, she started going on about tacos. A lot. She first sung the praises of “mushroom fundido tacos,” adding “I grew up in Dallas eating tacos.” In doing so, the musician prompted a riot, because then, the interviewer asked her the most controversial question imaginable. Taco or burrito?

“Get outta here with that,” Annie Clark replied, scandalously. “Taco! Go back to San Francisco. I don’t need a burrito.”

Pandemonium followed. St Vincent fans across the world began to question their devotion to somebody with the audacity to disrespect a gleaming, bean and chilli filled tortilla sent from heaven above. Copies of ‘Strange Mercy’ were undoubtedly thrown out of automobiles.

But it’s all ok, everyone. St Vincent has apologised. The universe’s natural sense of order has been restored.