The Aliens - Astronomy For Dogs

It’s a wonder Scottish popsters The Aliens found time to record their debut album ‘Astronomy For Dogs’ between listening to the entire back catalogue of The Doors and Jimi Hendrix in a haze of patchouli oil and flowers in their hair. Why on earth this album is needed now - or indeed any time - is beyond our understanding. Okay, there was a Sixties resurgence in the Nineties with the beast that was Britpop, but surely we’re not due another revival for a good few years yet? Each track seeps with close harmony backing vocals (not new since ooh let’s think - The Beatles), oh-so-safe verse-chorus-verse structures and endless outros. Don’t get us wrong - this album is not unlistenable and the tracks are all ‘nice’ pop songs which will doubtlessly find a lot of fans in people who take comfort in safe, familiar sounds. But surely Johnny Rotten fought the punk wars to get rid of this mindset of flabby nostalgia and psychedelic dinosaur rock?

‘Rox’ has a funky groove (man) spoilt by the strained vocals and the insistent nonsensical lyrics about ‘I am the robot man’. Blimey, we can see big blue pandas and green apes coming towards us - HELP! A slinky synth middle eight is its one saving grace, but it’s a drop in the ocean. Closing track ‘Caravan’ is a brain-warping twelve minute long jam of gargantuan proportions, crammed full of ridiculously overblown organ solos and any other instruments The Aliens can think to throw in for good (or should that be bad) measure. ‘The Happy Song’ is a highlight, only ‘cause it bounces along in an overt Fifties rock ‘n’ roll homage, but again it’s nothing Buddy Holly wasn’t doing better half a century or more ago.

The Aliens formed from the ashes of The Beta Band another truly self-indulgent band who made music for trendy drop-out students and nostalgic middle-aged beardy types. The last bands who sounded this dated and wrapped in a time capsule were Kula Shaker and Ocean Colour Scene - surely we learned our lesson last time round? With so many red hot new bands scrapping for your attention with some genuinely exciting new sounds, there really is no excuse for The Aliens to be making such tired, drippy hippy psychedelic nonsense.